


A Song in the Dark

by FarenMaddox



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Claustrophobia, Gen, kurogane's hidden talents, weird POV switching ahoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-04
Updated: 2012-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarenMaddox/pseuds/FarenMaddox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>  This is a de-anon from the clampkink community on LiveJournal, although it is not at all kinky.  Mostly, I just wanted to play around with POVs.  Anyway.   Original  prompt was: "Kuro/Fai -- canon please, not AU. When changing between  worlds they wind up in a very tight space, and discover that Fai is  claustrophobic. When he starts to panic, Kurogane has to come up with a  way of distracting him and calming him down."  <a href="http://clampkink.livejournal.com/608.html?thread=449120#t449120">(Link to original)</a></p>
    </blockquote>





	A Song in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

>   This is a de-anon from the clampkink community on LiveJournal, although it is not at all kinky.  Mostly, I just wanted to play around with POVs.  Anyway.   Original prompt was: "Kuro/Fai -- canon please, not AU. When changing between worlds they wind up in a very tight space, and discover that Fai is claustrophobic. When he starts to panic, Kurogane has to come up with a way of distracting him and calming him down."  [(Link to original)](http://clampkink.livejournal.com/608.html?thread=449120#t449120)

Muffled thumping noise.  Dank, musty air.  Eyes strain against darkness, see nothing.  I ~~t’s frightening and he hopes he’s not alone.~~   He wonders where the others are.

“Oi, meat bun!” he calls out fruitlessly.  “Where did you drop us this time?”

“Oh, Kuro-tan, can you find the lights?”

_My heart is beating so fast, and I wonder if Kurogane can hear how hard it’s beating or if that’s just terror roaring in my ears.  I don’t know why I’m scared.  I’m fine.  Not hurt._

“Don’t call me that, idiot,” he replies, automatically, dismissing the strain he hears in that joking voice he ~~loves~~ hates so much.

He tries to turn around, but he can’t move.  He didn’t notice at first due to the darkness, but the walls are a mere inch from his skin.  His shoulders scrape against the sides, dragging and catching his cloak and pulling it against his throat.  He fights a twisting leap of panic in his stomach, and breathes out through his nose.

“Am I the only one who can’t move?”

“Ah, no,” the ~~lovely~~ annoying voice says.  “I can turn around if I suck in my stomach enough.”  The sound is grinning, playful.  Fake.  Something’s wrong.

_I have to get out of here, please somebody get me out of here, NOW._

“Good for you,” he grunts, resigned.  They really are in some kind of tiny, dark space, not just him.  “Kid, how’s the princess?” he calls out.

Silence.

“Kid?”

He takes a step, tries to feel his way forward, find the kid and the princess.  His hand bumps into the mage’s back and he draws away immediately.  It’s cold in here and he feels a shiver building along his spine and creeping toward his hands and feet.

“I don’t think they’re here,” Fai says needlessly.

_Keep talking, we both need to keep talking, if I can’t hear you then it’s quiet and PLEASE it can’t be quiet it’s already tiny and dark and I CAN’T—_

“Great,” he grunts.

“They can’t be far, though, since we can understand each other.”

“HEY!” he shouts, when he realizes this.  “HEY WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?”  He’s been feeling at the walls, looking for a switch to turn on a light, looking for a door, for anything.  There’s nothing.  He can hear Fai scrabbling in the darkness, too.  His own voice rings off the walls of this tiny space and makes him wince.

His fingers find a seam in the wall.  He digs into the seam and tries to get some leverage, but it’s stuck fast.  “Oi, mage,” he grunts.  “I found a door.”

A quick, gasping intake of breath, and Fai is so close to him that he can feel the warmth of his body, even though they’re not touching.  Fai’s fingers pushing his aside, climbing into the cracks.  There’s a deep exhalation, and he reaches out and finds Fai’s hands splayed out on top of what he thinks is the door.  Magic?

_I wish I could use my magic.  I could get us OUT OF HERE oh please get me out of here please please make my heart stop pounding I don’t know what’s wrong with me but PLEASE . . ._

“It’s been sealed shut,” Fai whispers, and now he can hear the shaking that’s waiting on the verge of his voice.  Something’s wrong with the mage.

“ . . . hear us?” a voice comes faintly.

Kurogane pounds on the door, knowing it’s useless to ask Fai to use magic to get them out.  He won’t do it.

“IN HERE!” he bellows.  “CAN YOU SEE THE DOOR?”

“. . . hear you . . . find you . . . door?”

He thinks it’s the kid.  Fai was right, if Syaoran is close then so are the princess and the stupid Mokona.

“It’s sealed shut!” Fai shouts, but his voice is a weakened thing.  ~~So loud when he’s lying, so quiet when he can’t.~~   What’s wrong with him?

“IT’S SEALED SHUT!” he repeats, nice and loud, pounding his fist against wood that is so hard and old it feels like bricks.

“plaster . . . seam, maybe . . . tools?”

“WE CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

“We are going!  To find something!  To break the plaster!  And uncover the door!” Syaoran is hollering from the other side.  “We’ll be back!  Soon as we can!”

“FINE!” he hollers back.

_They can’t leave, please don’t leave me here please don’t leave me in the dark oh please somebody get me out of here I can’t MOVE and I need to move I always always always need to keep moving_

“No.”

The whisper was clearly an accident.  Fai didn’t mean to let it slip out, that helpless little whimper.  ~~Fix it, hurry, his stupid voice should never sound broken like that because it sounds better happy.~~

“Oi, mage,” he says ~~too gruff because he doesn’t know how~~ quietly.  “What?”

“Nothing,” says the breathy little reply.

The mage has his back turned to him.  They’re stuck in some kind of stupid closet that’s been boarded up and plastered over, just the two of them in this tiny space where they’re trapped less than a foot apart and the mage is trying to hide here?  He really is an idiot.

_Don’t let him notice this maybe if I’m very, very still he won’t notice that I can’t even breathe oh help me please just get me OUT—_

He puts a hand on the mage’s back, finds it tensed into a quivering line of panic.  He follows an arm to find that Fai is hugging himself tight, tucking trembling hands against his own sides.  He hears, now that he’s quiet, how light and quick Fai’s breathing is.  The idiot is panicking.  The sound of Fai’s breath and the light brush of Fai’s clothes against his arm is making his skin prickle.

“It’s just a stupid closet,” he says.  “I mean, if they were hiding dead bodies in here we’d have tripped over one by now.”

Fai is trying to laugh, but it’s only a hysterical giggle that chokes on a gasp of fear.  He’s hunching over, drawing away from his hand.  Like his hand burns.  ~~Maybe it does.~~

“I just need to get out of here,” the mage says, and his voice babbles away, out of his control.  “This place is too small, I don’t like not being able to move, and I wish I could see, so once Syaoran comes back and gets the door unblocked I’ll be fine so don’t worry about me—”

“I can’t even turn around,” he says gruffly.  Maybe he’s pointing out that Fai has less problems than he does, and should really calm down.  ~~He’s afraid, too, he doesn’t like this tiny room and he wants to get out of here almost more than he’s ever wanted anything.~~   Panicking isn’t going to help.  They’ll just have to sit still and wait.  The kid’s capable, he’ll get them out of here soon.

“Poor puppy,” Fai croons.

_This space is like a dungeon like a tiny room with bars on top of a tower.  I loved to hide under the bed when I was a kid and I never had a problem with cramped spaces.  Fai didn’t like them Fai hid in the closet when we played hide-and-seek and he made himself scream and we stopped playing because he was crying and I had to hug him and take him outside to run.  A tiny, tiny tower where he pressed his face to the bars and looked down at me and I couldn’t stop crying because I couldn’t get him out and he must have been so so so scared.  Oh, Fai, why am I scared?  I’m not you not really you even though I use your name but I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you out and please somebody anybody please get me out._

The mage is crying.  He stiffens at the sound of those tiny, gasping tears that he can’t see or feel, but that he knows have joined them in this dank little space.  ~~Hold him tight, wipe his tears, fix him.~~   What the hell is wrong with him?

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m just not good with small spaces, okay?” Fai gasps out, sounding angry.  “I have to get OUT OF HERE,” he suddenly snarls, and he’s twisting in this tiny space and slamming his hands on the door and digging his fingers into it.  The mage will destroy his hands, he thinks.  He’ll rip them up before he’ll get this door open.  So he grabs him by the wrists and stops him.

_Don’t use magic I can’t use magic don’t use it don’t use it use it use it USE IT TO GET OUT—_

There’s a pulse of energy shooting along his skin, raising the hair on his arms, and there’s no light, but it’s like he did see a bright light for a moment, the kind that imprints itself and burns you so that you still see it when you close your eyes, and he blinks rapidly in the dark.

Fai was going to . . .?

“Let me go!” the mage shrieks, in real panic.  “Let me go, let me go let me go let me go—”

Fai sounds so scared and sounds so alone.  ~~It’s breaking his heart, again, the mage always does that.~~   He yanks Fai by those spindly but strong wrists.  Pulls him closer.  His cloak is catching at these stupid walls and choking him, so he lets go to unclasp it.  Instead of letting it fall, he takes it in his hands, reaches and curses silently at the way his bare shoulders brush the walls.  He pulls the cloak around Fai.  Wraps it tight.  Pulls the mage flush against him, bundled in the cloak, and prays the mage is skinny enough to stand here and have space for Kurogane’s arms on either side of him.  They just barely fit, but they do.  He’s holding the mage.

“Stop stop stop let me go let me out please please get me out of here—”

“It’s gonna be okay,” he says.  He’s not good with these things, but he tries to sound quiet.  “The kid’s gonna get us out of here.”  Fai feels warm, almost too warm.  ~~Too good, his body shouldn’t fit perfectly like this~~.  The mage is always draping his body on his just to annoy him with what he can’t have, but this is the first time they’ve . . . touched.  He didn’t know it would feel like getting punched in the gut.

_The space is getting even smaller, now, with those arms around me, but it doesn’t feel worse it feels better and that doesn’t make sense but it’s true.  His arms feels so good and I still need to get out of here so badly that I can’t breathe but somehow I can stop crying now._

“Just calm down.  We’re fine.”

“It’s not— I can’t—”

“Shhh.”

_His breath as he shushes me is warm . . . I was so cold but now I feel like I’m melting want to melt against him and become a part of him because he’s not scared even when he is because he’s brave and I wish I was like him._

Fai’s cheek presses against his bare arm.  Fai is choking on his lungs, but he lets out a shaky sigh, hot and damp on his arm.  The mage is relaxing, just a little.

“Can you please just keep talking?” the mage begs.  It’s begging, not asking, a desperate tiny thing.

“I’m not . . . good at that.”

“I don’t need you to be good at it, I just need you to do it.”  There’s a tiny hint of amusement in the fear.  He’s so astonished ~~and so happy it twists inside him~~ to hear the mage asking for help that for a minute he doesn’t know what to do.  But the breath that’s wheezing out of Fai is making the mage weak, sick-feeling and sick-sounding and he has to do something.

“I don’t have anything to say,” he says, useless and stupid.  “Let’s try to sit down.”

He has to kneel down, and the mage is in front of him.  Fai kneels down, too, but when the mage leans back into him, he pulls on him and it’s easy to sprawl out and all but lay in his embrace.

Fai is crying again.

“Please get me out of here,” Fai whispers.  He sounds like a child.

_He feels so good and I have to get out of here before he feels even better before I forget before I want this before—_

Lacking anything to say, any way to help, he starts humming.  He doesn’t know where he got the tune.  Maybe from his mother, or Tomoyo, or a random serving girl, or maybe he’s making it up.  ~~He thinks he could compose a symphony if he had to, to make these tears stop~~.  His hand touches the hair spilling over his arm.  It’s soft.  ~~Just like he thought it would be.~~

“S’nice,” the mage mumbles.

Fai is warm in his arms, wrapped clumsily in his cloak.  Still shuddering and trying to breathe, but he’s relaxing here.  He keeps his fingers tangled in that soft hair that smells like snow and cinnamon.  He was never going to touch the mage, never unless he thought it would be welcome.  But now he thinks he’ll never be able to stop, after this.  He can’t let go of the slender warm body in his lap, not even when they leave here.  The hand clutching at his arm is . . . almost too perfect.  This is dangerous.  They have to get out of here.  ~~Get out before he stops wanting this and starts needing it.~~

“Are you asleep?”

“Don’t stop singing, Kuro-rin,” Fai mumbles softly, curling into his embrace and tilting his head obligingly to be caressed.  “It’s helping.”

“It’s not even singing,” he mutters sullenly.  “And don’t you dare tell anyone about this.”  He resumes the song, adding lilting little notes that seem to fit, soothing and comforting and it’s a song that’s just for a dark room and just for Fai and will never, ever see the light of day.

_I wouldn’t even if I could.  It hurts too much.  Don’t ever stop singing to me, and it is singing no matter what you say, the only song you can give me and I’ll never ask for another.  I don’t want to leave here, I’ve found a tiny tight space that was made just for me, it’s his arms and I’ll stay here forever.  But I have to leave it, because oh how this hurts._

Suddenly there’s a pounding on the wall that shakes dust from the ceiling.  It tickles on their skin and makes their noses itch.  Fai curls up in a jerky movement, huddling in his arms.

“. . . back . . . tools . . . out soon!”

The walls come apart, little by little, and the door is broken down and light spills into the room.  What Syaoran sees is two men kneeling on the floor, separate and proper, with Fai poised to leap.  Leap he does, leap out of the tiny boarded-up closet they were stuck in, crowing happily like nothing’s happened.  It’s so disgusting to hear that Kurogane is stuck there for a minute, stuck on his knees.  ~~The loss of the man in his arms is too much to bear.~~   Then he gets up and grumbles “finally” like he wasn’t half-hoping that time would never end.

_I love you and I’ll hum that song when ~~you kill me~~ I kill you, Kurogane . . ._

 


End file.
